Priorities, ladies, Priorities

Wassup, people? Hope this meets you well as always. Now last time, I had hinted that I would drop exclusively on the Joan Morgan talk and I will, however, this covers a greater scope. The talk was inspiring and sobering, realizing how much the culture of rap (not hip-hop, remember there is a huge difference) demeans our women. Suprisingly, many women have embraced the chickenhead mentality with the disastrous example that comes to mind: Flavor of Love. It was truly scary how hood those women got at a moment's notice. When did it become common practice to settle any argument with yelling and then a beatdown complete with weave pulling? Hmmm, let's just say those girls don't make my short list of ideal women. Now my list of qualities we haven't the time for; maybe another time. However, I was inspired tonight by a lovely soul to write on, finding the right man. I've heard a great deal of experiences of different women in my life and I've noticed some disturbing trends. #1 being the fact that they settle quick. As the great MC Common once said: thinkin' we all in love cause we can spend a day together? We talkin' about the rest of our lives, there's too many black women who can say that they mothers, but can't say that they wives.....true and it shouldn't be that way. Being the son of a black woman, I cannot think of anyone who is more qualified to have that strength to run a household well despite what the media says. Is it possible that strength allows them to settle for a man with less?

#2 Romance is a lost art along with courtship. Why is that flowers are no longer bought for surprise occasions? Why do you only see a bouquet on valentine's, birthdays, and when the man screwed up when even these times are becoming rare? Ladies, wassup? I'm not saying it has to be flowers, but it should be something that suggests at some point in the day, he deemed it necessary to brighten your day with a surprise that he put more than 3 seconds thought into.

#3 Ladies, don't get caught up in the moment. Suprisingly, men fall faster, but women fall harder and if you get hooked up in his meteoric drop into Cupid's grasp, then when he realizes that he's got to slow the roll, it will confuse and frustrate you based on his previous actions. Life is a blessing (and occasional curse) in that it is a day to day process, enjoy the ride, embrace it and realize that until there is a general agreement that there is a common goal that you are building to, keep your heart in check.

#4 Make sure you have completely come to a good place with your father before asking for the One. Trust me, trying to make it work with a girl with daddy issues is never fun. I could see a night and day comparison of those girls who had come to terms with their father, good or bad, and those who hadn't. The latter are especially a trap for those men who have a hero complex because they run like rabbits from any potential problem that involves the possibility of the guy leaving. Again, not fun. So make sure if you love your daddy, remind yourself. If you don't, forgive him and give to God. 'Nuff said.

#5 Finally, expect the best. Know that no one is perfect, but make sure he makes the priorities: God-fearing (meaning he loves God more than you), peaceful yet strong in character and integrity, caring, loves himself (can't love anyone before you love yourself), loves his family, has goals that go beyond saving up for a Mercedes M-class, philanthropic, supporting, HONEST, that he can pay for a date and truly not expect anything in return (apparently this one is dying out), respectful (make sure he can open a door for you, another dying art), listens well, has a backbone (if you walk all over him, you can't respect him and if you step out of line, he reminds you that you are) which reminds me....if he ever lays a hand on you, catch a charge *y'all know you what I mean*. There is never an excuse for that.....ever. Hmm, what else....oh, make sure that he likes to make you happy, beyond the 6 mo. honeymoon period. Best way to see that, really see if he wants to know about you, where you've been, where you're going, how you're changing and that he wants to be around to see you continually grow and help you in the process.


That's enough for now, I'm out. Peace and blessings......