_0 things you need to know about_____(fill in the blank)

Salutations, folks, hope this finds you well. School has started back up again and I'm thinking my writing may fall off a little with the commencement of papers, books and teacher's dirty looks (ahh, elementary school), so I figure I'll get some things in while I can. This blog took several twists and turns before it was even written. The start of the journey came from one of the blogs to the right, Mr. Green's which had posted 30 things men should know about women. For this particular list, I wasn't too excited about since it had a tendency to make women sound shallow and 1 dimensional (which of my own experience is one thing I've not found women to be) so I set a quest to find a list I could get some juicy pearls of wisdom. I put in a Google search for "things men should know about women" and don't you know it, a ton of lists came up with all sorts of numbers: 5, 10, 20, 37, 100, 200, etc. Reading through the lists was no comfort and I came to an epiphany, any woman (or man for that matter) who can be conveniently wrapped up into a microwave list of do's and don'ts is not worth your time. People are capable of the most wondrous achievements and heinous crimes; we're insecure, kind, jealous, giving, stingy, rude, supporting, racist, loving, bitter, hateful, hopeful, faithful, nuturing, wondrous and complicated mergers of triumphs and disasters, all 4 billion of us. That's terrifying and exciting all at the same time.

Are we capable of good advice on recognizing certain situations? Of course and that's what I believe this lists should focus on, rather than the opposite gender and attempting to fix a label to them. We're all guilty of it, me included, because we tend to fear the uncertainty in people that we come across. This very reason is the source of stereotypes; we try to assign reason to an unreasonable world.

So to be fair, I decided to try the opposite: what women should know about men and see if they were close. I found a good one so I'll share it with this and the next blog and give some feedback.

1. There are two types of males: Dishonorable males and honorable men. Don’t date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

-Been saying this one since jump, what most of my blogs are on. Verdict: True

2. Honorable men are protectors. They will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and stand as champions for your spiritual, mental and physical well-being; choose an honorable man and choose life!

-Amen to that.

3. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adieu and don’t look back!


- So true....


4. This is a true saying: “The soul of a woman is fragile.” Please note: dishonorable males refuse to respect this crucial truth. They will toy with a woman’s emotions without any semblance of concern or compassion. Therefore YOU must guard your heart from these cold-hearted males with all diligence.

- This is true, but also know that we are all in different points in life. Avoid him, yes, but also know he may learn and mature if he dedicates his life to self-improvement, and yes, it does happen.

5. Good men need to be treated like good men, dishonorable males, need to be let go and left alone!

- To piggyback on Alicia, know a good man's worth as well....

6. OK ladies; you’ve met this great guy, but he’s got a child or children for which he does not take care of, provide for or see to. Follow these instructions to the letter: urgently send him back to the mother(s) of his child(ren) and don’t look back. Don’t make the same mistake the mother(s) of his child(ren) did!

- If he can't make his children a top priority, he won't with you either...

7. Dishonorable males treat sex as a sport, females as trophies and children they sire as wastepaper. Never allow yourself to become their next score, mantle piece or sperm repository.

- Like my man Comm said, "There's too many black women who can say that they mothers, but can't say that they wives..."

8. Women who hold grudges, seek vengeance, cling to bitterness and are unwilling to forgive, unwittingly break their own hearts!

- Bitterness kills, simple and plain truth. It consumes you until there is nothing left more than anything else...give it to God...

9. Choose the wrong mate and you might as well have laid next to a boa constrictor or grabbed the ears of a raging mad pit bull. A smart woman learns how to choose her mate wisely!

- Sounds almost Proverbs-like....I like this Solomon type knowledge...

10. Heed the sage advice of some caring brothers and honorable men. If he doesn’t fit - don’t force him, just relax and let him go. Destiny is on your side… TRUE LOVE will find you!

- I can't second this motion enough, true love will find you, faith is the seed, thankfulness waters it and true love is the vine that grows...

11. Momma’s boys belong with only one type of woman; their moms! Ladies, these mothers and their sons will never cut their grotesque umbilical cord. Therefore, for your sake, leave them alone and just let them trot home to their mommies.

- Look for those mothers who are willing to commit their sons to God and trust Him to guide them....

12. Self-love: if you don’t have it, pull yourself off the market. Make no mistake about it, if you don’t love yourself, NO MAN can ever love you… no matter how great a man he is.

- This is a caveat because this comes from knowing that He made you for a reason and that gives you worth. The focus must be on Him, not you, then you see yourself as He sees you...

13. Don’t judge ALL men by one man’s actions; unless you want ALL men to judge you based on the acts of amoral women.

- At the risk of sounding churchy, "Weeelllll...."

14. Most women learn how to choose a mate the hard way; they go through a gut wrenching string of emotionally detached males, jerks, pimps, thugs and players. Don’t become one of those heart broken and bitter women! Learn how to properly choose a mate before it’s too late! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

- Better yet, let God bring him, works much better that way....

15. You wondering, “If I move in with him, is he going to marry me?” Answer: “Not likely!” Don’t believe it, take these two critical tests: (a). Ask any honorable man! And, (b). Examine the ever-growing list of disillusioned women who are begrudgingly waiting for their non-committal live-in lovers to pop the big question.

- Umm, let me answer this for you, not only no, but Heeelll no...hold out for those who want to do it the right way....

16. Do you keep attracting men who are dogs? Check the scent you’re putting out. Men who are dogs are attracted by scent!

- Stop hanging out in kennels as well.....

17. You are not a man! Therefore, you will never be: a role model for men, a father figure, a man’s mentor or a man’s coach. If a man has lacked proper male leadership in his life, kindly send him on his way. Know for a certainty; he is not prepared for the responsibilities that come with love, sex, relationship and marriage.

-Another reason I love my father....

18. If you don’t know what a misogynistic man is, take this time to check your dictionary. For your sake, sanity and safety, avoid these treacherous males at all costs.

- There is no reason to hate women, just like there shouldn't be to hate men, if he does, avoid at all costs for sake of your life before you're the victim in a murder trial on Dateline....

19. Don’t ever delude yourself! Your beauty, fine body, sexual prowess, cooking skills, femininity and vibrant personality will never be enough to change a man, NEVER!

- Nope, we can only look to the Father to let Him change us as we learn Him, you can't do it for us....

20. If your potential mate does such things as: promises to call you but doesn’t, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions; take notes ladies... those are clear cut warning signs that he DOES NOT value you, he DOES NOT love you and he DOES NOT care about you!

- If a man has no integrity, how much of a man can he be?


This is the first half, there will be 20 more the next blog. S.o.T.P.: Complicated by Robin Thicke. I'm out, peace and hair grease......