lessons

Wassup people? So first and foremost, happy Memorial day. I'm currently in the CT, gun wavin' New Haven to be exact and the old adage still stands: the more things change, the more they stay the same. For those who are close to me, this trip was necessary due to the past year being very trying in many aspects, both professionally and personally. I've always had the tendency to get out and hit that open road when the odds seem to mount up and the brain needs to be cleared. Nothing gives you enough time to sort things upstairs as with twelve hours of driving. It's been a wonderful trip, I've been able to view some of God's beautiful creation and really come to terms with things that have happened in the past and get the lesson from each circumstance.

One major thing I've realized came to its fullness from just being here in CT. So many times we've all looked back and questioned if what we had before was what we needed and have even gone back to it. It's so necessary to trust your heart in those circumstances when there is something telling you to move on. Many times this looking back while having the hands set to the plow stems from the fear of the future. We fear if what we have now is our last chance at love, success, or peace of mind. I have a mantra that I've learned over the years that goes like this: This won't be the last time I'm _____________. Fill in the blank: in love, happy, safe, secure, peaceful, successful. If any of those situations were present before and gone at the moment, it is no indication that it won't be there again. So have hope, trust that God is bringing more good things down the road, it's in His nature to bless.

Two blessings that has helped me realize this truth were my lovely goddaughter and the news that my brother from another mother and his wife are expecting their first, also a girl. I realized that life goes on and those around me are blessed with brand new seeds and one day that will be me. Everyday is a gift that there are hidden treasures throughout the day that we so often miss. There's those flashes that I've had on some days on this trip that I stepped out of myself and looked in and said, " This moment is monumental in the simplicity of the happiness felt right now," and it's almost as if I could take the moment before and after that and connect them and just loop them over and over, I would have in an instant. Pain is always going to be there in our lives but I wouldn't do without it because it's helped me seek those moments of pleasure in the slightest occurrence.

The trip is almost over and I'll be back home to enjoy the comforts of home. I've developed a sense of refuge the past month when I've thought of my place. It's my abode, my spot, that hasn't been there really all year since I complained of Greenville, but I can honestly say that even though it hasn't gotten better, I can appreciate what I know and what it is to me.

On the music front, I'm anxious to check the new Usher and Al Green. I DL'ed the new Roots and love it, I was very glad to see them with a video on 106 and Park (purely by accident did I see that, I can't do BET much at all these days, except my Different World at night) and checked a few songs on the new Lyfe. I'm feelin' Never Never Land, 30 ain't the new 20, it's the same ol' 30 and that's so true but a topic for another day.

Peace and hair grease to all and I'll hit you lata.....